Well, according to the gizmo that I’ve installed on my computer, I’ve now been smoke-free (and nicotine free, since I did this cold turkey) for 2 weeks, 2 days, 7 hours, 50 minutes and 54 seconds.
So far, so good. Although I still get the occasional craving, and the occasional fleeting notion to go and buy a pack of cigarettes, both pass quickly and I’ve yet to succumb to either. Usually all I have to do is think of what it’s going to taste like at this point, and that’s enough to cure me of any desire to light up.
However, quitting smoking has brought another, older addiction of mine to the forefront. I’m talking about the “f-word” – FOOD. In the past few weeks, I’ve been paying more attention to my relationship with food, and realizing that it’s more than slightly dysfunctional. I’m not entirely sure why though. This is something I’d like to investigate. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m either a food addict, or a compulsive eater. I’m just not sure which.
So, I’m going to spend the next week or so doing some research, part of which is going to involve attending one or two Overeaters Anonymous meetings to see if that’s what I need. There’s one near my office that meets twice a week at lunchtime that I’m planning to try. I’m definitely a bit nervous about going, but I’ll never know unless I go, right?
My goal for this week is to keep a food diary. Not so much to track every bite that crosses my lips, but to see if I start noticing any patterns in my eating. I also want to learn if certain foods are triggering my eating, particularly at night when I get home from work. That seems to be when it’s at its worst.
The bottom line is that I’m tired of how much food runs my life, and I’m even more tired of being overweight. While it’s true that I’m gorgeous, charming and wonderful (and modest, too), most people don’t see anything past the fat.